Barry Certainly Is Getting Lots Of Letters These Days!



We already know that B-HO is the world leader in unsolicited campaign songs. Now it appears he is taking the lead in the candidate receiving the most unsolicited letters.
First, there is a post at Gates of Vienna, with a very reasonable and thoughtful letter to Barry, from a mother and daughter, that are Iranian-Americans.

In closing, Senator, even if you manage to dialogue with the ruling clergy in Iran, they will never keep their word. They are masters of deception, manipulation, rhetoric and spin. They are incapable of even honoring their own signatures, and refuse to abide by the terms and conditions of treaties that they themselves have agreed upon time and time again, as we have witnessed in their reactions to U.N. resolutions.

While the above letter is a sincere attempt to inform and sway B-HO from his statements to have “unconditional” talks with the President of Iran, it has a certain naivety. It doesn’t hit quite hard enough, and will most likely never receive a response.
However, our old friend iowahawk has been busy, and has found three letters to B-HO, that have received replies. Dear Barry…Relationship Advice From Illinois Senator Barack Obama.

1)Dear Barry:

I try to get along with the people in my neighborhood, but sometimes it can be difficult. Take for example my neighbor “Mahmoud.” Last weekend while I was seeding my lawn, he drove back and forth slowly in front of my house “flipping the bird” from his minivan, which is painted with pictures of bloody corpses and mushroom clouds and “welcome 12th Imam.”

2)Dear Barry:

My girlfriend and I have been talking about “taking it to the next level” and moving in together. The trouble is that she doesn’t know I live in a Satanist-only condo complex. To tell you the truth I’m not really into the whole Satanism thing, and moved into the complex mostly because they offered me a free 10-speed bike with a one year lease. I’m also a member of the condo board, which knocks an extra $100 off my monthly lease, but it also means I have to attend the weekly goat sacrifice rituals.

3)Throughout dinner Michelle continued hectoring my boss about how screwed up my company is, and too obsessed with profits, and how she and I were going to fix all that, and why everyone probably should all drop out of the corporate world and become artists. To top it all off, during dessert she brought out her black velvet paintings of Che Guevara.

Anyway, this week at work my CEO hasn’t returned any of my emails or phone messages. What should I do to get back on the career ladder?

Mortified in Lake Forest

Want to read the advice B-HO has to offer? Well, follow the little blue hyperlink, but I must caution against having any food or beverage near your computer. You know how hysterically funny iowahawk can be. If you don’t, you soon will.

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