Saturday Night Chuckle!

Corporate Cows

1. SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

2. COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

3. FASCISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

4. NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

5. BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other
and throws the milk away…

6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

7. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
dropped dead.

8. A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

9. A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

10. A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.

11. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for
lunch.

12. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.

13. A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.

14. A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.

15. AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

16. A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

17. A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You eat both

Chuck Norris: Drill Here Drill Now

I’ve been promoting this petition drive whenever I can. Now Chuck Norris joins the crew and I hope this will get some attention. Take a look at the petition at the link down yonder and join us.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

As gas prices are at an all-time high, the American people are demanding that Congress take action to drill here and drill now. More than 650,000 Americans have signed the “Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less” petition, and that number keeps growing rapidly each day.

Increasing domestic energy resources is not a Republican or Democrat issue; it’s about lowering gas prices for hard-working American families. With more than 650,000 Americans on board, a groundswell of grassroots support is rising up to pressure Congress to stop playing partisan politics and start using more of our domestic energy resources.

We’re excited to announce today that Chuck Norris is supporting our “Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less” campaign. Watch him talk about it in this new YouTube video:

www.AmericanSolutions.com/DrillNow.

TIME NEVER DIES

Sercan Ondem

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