Just Another Day At The Office….


Pregnant daughter came home and told me about her day last night over dinner. There’s a reason SwampMan will not eat dinner at the table when daughter, a vet tech with animal control, my mom, a retired R.N., and I are talking.

A pitbull bit a person and then died. Whether or not it was assisted on its way to the doggie afterlife I do not know, as I did not ask. Regardless of how it reached the great beyond, an animal control officer picked up the smelly deceased and stuck it in the freezer at animal control, for the head had to be removed and sent to the state lab to check for rabies.

Enter daughter, who had to thaw said dead doggie and decapitate same. The operating and EU rooms were in use, so the decapitation was to take place in the private (non-public access) parking lot. The deceased was defrosted and appropriately smelly. After cutting through the skin and muscle, the head is twisted and snapped off. Daughter laboriously cut through the thick muscles around the cervical spine. Daughter twisted. Head didn’t snap off. She twisted again. No snappage. She called another vet tech, a male, to help. Still no head separation. By this time, smelly bodily fluids were waaaaay beyond the rubber gloves and were running down the arms and onto the scrubs. A third male came in to help snap the neck. No luck.

Daughter was, by this time, cussing like a sailor. It was hot outside, she was miserable and pregnant, and her other tasks were backing up. Like her mom, she doesn’t have infinite patience. She threw the stinky dog body down in the parking lot, grabbed a pooper scooper shovel, and eventually successfully encouraged the head to separate from the body after stabbing it about 10 times, cussing the dog loudly the entire time. She grabbed the head and danced around the parking lot, shaking it at the other employees, ululating at the successful decapitation.

It was only then that she noticed the employees at the auto repair shop across the street staring.

25 Responses

  1. Dear Mr. Swampman,
    Mother Hen here, chuckling as only a chicken can at the humorous demise and decapitation of a nasty dog. Doggie heaven indeed! As if the great coop in the sky needs a vicious relative of foxes and wolves as a resident!
    While normally the subject of seperating one’s neck from one’s head would be a delicate subject for a hen, Mother H. is willing to accept this exception, especially as the decapitator in question is usually an administrator of TLC to members of the animal kingdom.
    She is, after all, a great patron of witty literary efforts, and so gives a hearty wingtip salute to Mr. Swampman & Co. for a chuckle-inducing piece of blogging!
    Humorously yours,
    Mother Hen
    http://www.motherhensnest.wordpress.com

  2. Generally, I feel no remorse in the passing of a pit.
    I think there should be a ban on them and all should be sterilized.
    Sorry your daughter had to deal with such a distasteful task, in the heat, while pregnant, with an uninformed audience.

  3. The most loyal, protective dogs we’ve had have been pits! They’re great hog dogs. Ours would be rambling through the gardens with the hogs and then when we yelled at them all, they’d hustle and grab the hogs by the ear and attempt to throw ’em on the ground.

    • I don’t dispute that most pits are good dogs, it’s just that there are far too many who do far too much damage. The list of dog bite related fatalities for humans and other animals is dominated by this type of dog.
      Mid Year Results: U.S. Dog Bite Fatalities from January 1 to July 22, 2010.
      Pit Bulls Killed 67%
      DogsBite.org – Of the 18 fatal dog attacks recorded by DogsBite.org so far in 2010, pit bull type dogs contributed to 67% (12). This is equivalent to a pit bull killing a U.S. citizen every 17 days during this 203-day period. 83% (10) of these incidents involved a family pit bull killing a family member. The second leading dog breed to kill a U.S. citizen in 2010 is the rottweiler,1 which contributed to 17% (3) deaths. Of these deaths, 100% involved a family rottweiler killing a family member.

      From 1 Jan 05 until 8 Mar 10, just over five years, pits were responsible for 88 of the 158 dog bite related fatalities.
      In most cases the dog killed a family member or family friend.

  4. a chainsaw would have worked just fine on the frozen carcass. But, that’s just me.

  5. Here is a pdf to a remarkable article from behaviorist Gary Wilkes. It’s a little long, but a fascinating read.

    If you automatically think I am strongly opposed to
    Pit Bulls, you’d be wrong. I have trained many of them.
    They loved me. I loved them. My comments merely reflect
    that I’m adamantly opposed to hogwash and infants
    having their scalps ripped off.
    To understand my opinion of the breed, it helps to
    know that I have a special attachment to them – it’s in
    my blood. My grandfather was a railroad station-master
    in Mississippi in the 1920’s. On the side, he bred and
    fought Pit Bulls all across the south. His job allowed him
    to travel extensively from Georgia to Louisiana and most
    points in between, fighting his dogs for side-money.

    • Well, I think a lot of the problem lies with the owners. As you can observe with dog training shows on television, people cannot even deal with little yappy lapdogs, let alone with a strong-willed working dog. It is the nature of the pack animal that if the owner is unable/unwilling to be the pack leader, the dog will. That is why the children get savaged; they challenged the supremacy of the pack leader.

      • I couldn’t disagree with you more, not when it comes to these dogs.
        These dogs represent 5% of the total dog population in this country, but were responsible for 67% of dog bite related fatalities in a five year span.
        That anomaly is directly related to the breed specific traits, not bad owners.

        Uploaded with ImageShack.us

    • According to DogsBite.org, pitbull type dogs were involved in fatal attacks. What, exactly, is a pit bull type dog? A medium sized dog? What? They’re going to have to do better than that. A pediatric journal said that Rottweilers were the main killers. A few years ago, German Shepherd dogs were the top killers, and Dobies. I’ve had those dog breeds, too. No fatalities here!

      Dog bite injuries are ALWAYS the fault of the owner or the bitee. The owner for having failed to properly socialize and/or train and/or restrain his or her dogs. The bitee often shows no common sense whatsoever in approaching strange dogs. Children often poke doggy’s eyes, or yank on doggy’s ears, or steal doggy’s food or toys. If child isn’t killed, then dog-bitten children (or adults) were merely being “disciplined” pack style.

      Since there are about 80 million dogs in the USA, perhaps the dogs (including pit bull “types”) are showing great restraint.

      Family and friends killed each other far more frequently during the first half of 2010 than any of the family pets did.

      I haven’t looked up any statistics, but cattle usually kill far more people than dogs do during any year, (as do horses and bees!) and I haven’t heard of anybody banning any particular cattle breed as being particularly antisocial.

      • They are called a “type” because of the mixed breeding.
        We can both remain unconvinced of each others position.
        Me, I’m for sterilizing them into extinction, I don’t care if it’s a “type”, a Staffordshire or an APBT.
        Nearly every branch of the military has banned them from base housing, along with Rotts and Wolf breeds, for good reason.

      • You know who kill more children each year than dogs? Parents! Perhaps children’s deaths should be examined by parental breed and the most offending breeds sterilized out of existence.

  6. How about which human breed kills the most humans each year? Sterilization time!

    • Don’t go all Shit Bull™ crazy on me Swampie.
      This genetic mistake of a dog was bred into existence by man, they can be extinguished through a lack of breeding.

      • Heh. Never happen. They’re the most popular breed ’round here.

        I have more problems with labs killing my livestock.

      • Actually, it already is happening.
        Denver passed a pit bull ban and it was upheld against a challenge by the state.
        Pet friendly Animal People magazine has produced some interesting facts about these dogs. Decade of adoption focus fails to reduce shelter killing.(scroll down)

        In addition, classified ads for dogs offered for either sale or adoption indicate that pit bulls are not more than 5% of the total U.S. dog population, meaning that they are not the breed of choice for 95% of the people who are acquiring a dog.
        Thus, even if all dogs in shelters were adoptable, even if the number of people adopting a shelter pet could be increased by three million, and even if they adopted pit bulls at more than 10 times the rate of acquisition by the public, about 25% of the dogs killed in shelters would still be pit bulls.

        Only preventing their births will prevent their premature deaths–and the cost of achieving a shelter adoption is currently three to four times the cost of sterilization surgery.

        That they are the most popular dogs in your area is odd, as they represent a small percentage overall.

        San Francisco enacted a pit bull sterilization program, to good effect. In the first 18 months, pit bull impoundments declined by 21%; shelter occupancy rates fell from three-quarters to one-quarter and pit bull euthanizations dropped 24%.

        Ohio has Breed Specific Laws, and currently 30 communities ban them. So does Iowa and 11 communities ban them.
        There are others that are about to or are considering BSL.

        I have made my current environment just a little better, by putting pressure on the neighborhood association to ban them and my neighbor was forced to get rid of their two. Also, next week the young lady that wants my vote for state rep will be having a town hall meeting and I am already signed up to ask a question. Since I know others will be asking about the economy, education and crime, I will be asking why Texas is still a one bite law state and why we don’t have a BSL.

  7. Dear Mr. Swampman,
    There was once a famous human who supported that very thing…let me see, who was that? Oh, of course, it was that nasty Mr. Hitler person!
    On the other wing, Mother Hen has wondered for years why people need licences to have dogs, but not to hatch babies? Curious!
    Inquisitively Yours,
    Mother Hen

  8. Daughter is bringing home a dog to my house to “foster” today because dog is coming down with kennel cough. (I currently have her old cat, horse, fish, remnants of her bantam flock, and one of her old 4H grand champion sheep still doddering around the pasture.) Dog is an owner surrender chihuahua/beagle (?) cross that sits in the back of the kennel and shakes because she’s terrified and nobody will even look at her for adoption. Daughter thinks that in two weeks of medication, the kennel cough will be gone. The boys will have a playmate, too, because Sammy is waaaay too big and knocks them over with his wagging tail, particularly the 3-year-old ruffian, and when Sammy reaches down to lick his head, all those shiny teeth and big tongue kinda make the 3-year-old grandson feel like he’s on the menu for lunch. ‘Course, in my experience, Chihuahuas are FAR more vicious than German Shepherds. Or pitbulls.

    I wonder if she’s bringing the dog to my house to “foster” because of Odie’s slow but continuing decline? And, of course, if boys fall in love with dog, Meemaw will not be able to return it to the pound when she gets better but will have to pay the $80 adoption fee. Eeesh.

    *sigh* At least it isn’t the nice mommy pitbull that she refused to euthanize.

    • Chihuahua/Beagle mix?
      Glad I didn’t witness the act of conception.
      I agree Chihuahua’s are prone to bad attitudes and biting, but they only puncture and let go. The only dog that is actually a “grasping” dog instead of a biter is the pit, which is why they do so much damage.
      They just don’t let go.

  9. I looked at dog. I cannot figure out the act of conception that created her. Something that shouldn’t have been joined together for sure!

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