Still rockin’ (after all these years)

Once bitten, twice shy ….

Birthday Words of Wisdom

Hat-tip to Nuke’s niece …..

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

• If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

• We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

• War does not determine who is right — only who is left.

• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

• Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole darn box to start a campfire?

• Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

• A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”

• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

• The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

• Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

• I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

• Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

• There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

• You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

• A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

• If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Gunter glieben glauchen globen … 80’s guitar riffs.

Love em or hate em, the guitar riffs are great.

From Def Leppard, photograph, rock of ages, and pour some sugar

Life imitates The Cube

Remember the Progressive Truth Generator™ from The People’s Cube?
You’re never more than just one mouse-click away from getting in the right wing’s face ….

You are a clean-shaven fascist because you don’t think that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding!

That was the first thing that popped into my mind when I ran across this story over on PhysOrg …

A software developer has created a “chatbot” program for Twitter to automatically detect set phrases associated with arguments put forward by those skeptical of anthropogenic global warming, and to send automated replies of set phrases debunking their arguments.

You can’t make this stuff up!

I got an early birthday present yesterday from my oncologist. Results from Monday’s CT Scan came in, and the report was very good. No sign of cancer anywhere! Ol’ Doc Hansen is a real joker. He said I was going to have to tell my family the bad news — they’re going to have to put up with me for a long time. Hehehee.

God is good!.

Have a great weekend y’all.

TIME NEVER DIES

Sercan Ondem

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