Who is Ted Cruz?

who is ted cruz

As we noted previously, the real loser after CPAC actually won the presidential straw poll.  So, who was the big winner?  The junior senator from the Lone Star Republic.

via the cube

– When Al Gore invented the Internet, his inbox already contained three unread emails from Ted Cruz.

– Ted Cruz has a quadruple citizenship in the U.S., Canada, Middle-earth and Westeros.

– If you superimpose Ted Cruz’s fingerprints, the resulting image will be the Seal of the President of the United States.

– When Ted Cruz got bit by a rattle snake, the snake had to sign up for Obamacare but couldn’t get through the login screen and died after a week of pain and agony in front of the computer.

– Ted Cruz has already won the presidential election in 2016 with a roundhouse kick in the polls; the pollsters just haven’t developed the technology to look that far into the future.


update:  Mike sez, “The first rule of Ted Cruz is: You do not talk about Ted Cruz.”


7 Responses

  1. I know who he is.

  2. yeah, that’s the guy! it covers up those tats pretty well, huh,

  3. I don’t think those photo shopped tatts had the desired effect. Seems to me that would make him more appealing to the low information voter/millenials.

  4. The artist behind this says he’s a conservative. http://unsavoryagents.com/

  5. I’m with you Nuke. Ted is the man. If only we can survive another two years…

Comments are closed.

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