Gravity 1, Andre No-Johnson 0

Rapper Andre Johnson would have been the sure-fire winner of the 2014 Darwin Award except for one minor detail–he survived.


andre (no) johnsonAfter cutting off his manhood, Johnson leaped from the second floor of a West Hollywood apartment building and landed on the sidewalk below.  Other members of his rap group, Northstar, said that by the time they got downstairs, Johnson, sans-johnson, was up and running around screaming and hollering.


Oddly enough, they also claimed that no drugs were involved.


Johnson (nick-name “Christ Bearer) is in critical condition at Cedars-Sinai.  Efforts to sew his penis back on were not successful.


source: Fox


Note to self:  If I ever decide to cut my d*ck off and attempt suicide by jumping off a building, make sure that I get much higher than the second floor.


Note to first responders:  If you ever find me on a sidewalk with my d*ck cut off after I’ve tried to defy gravity from an upper floor, please just go ahead and shoot me.



3 Responses

  1. Dang, son!

  2. […] nuke Rapper Andre Johnson would have been the sure-fire winner of the 2014 Darwin Award except for one […]

  3. Dang. I would suggest next time he cut his ears off so he won’t have to listen to his “music”.

    If that was an example of his behavior while *not* on drugs (riiiiiiight), he must be one crazy mofo.

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