Texas A&M study names Obama 5th best American President

In a recently completed study from Texas A&M University, President Barack Obama has been rated as the 5th best in history.

“After only 5 years in office, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best in history.”

Here are the Results:

all hat no cattle1) Reagan and Lincoln tied for first
2) Seventeen presidents tied for second
3)Twenty-three other presidents tied for third
4) Jimmy Carty came in 4th
5) Obama was fifth

Heh. gig’em!

Have a great weekend, y’all.

Hitler’s Assessment On The RRR(DERP)

If Mack Brown has lost Hitler, he is finished.

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend

oldmanyoungwomanA balding, white haired man from Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something a little more special.’

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, ‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, ‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!’




Spock vs Spock

Old School, baby!


UPDATE Amazon has the entire original Star Trek series on Blue Ray at a 51% discount! $88.99 with free shipping ….

“Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected, in this case I would think interesting would suffice.”

Video Hammers Home Lesson On Relationships

BTW, I have been happily divorced for quite some time.

Tuesday Open

Changes Coming To The Trucking Industry

Due to numerous factors, such as rising fuel costs, rising costs of consumer goods and reduced consumer spending, there isn’t as much freight to haul and truckers are looking to the manufacturers to help them meet these challenges, so they may remain profitable.

The answer is being addressed by Peterbilt, smaller and more fuel efficient trucks.


1:4 RC model truck pulls a Nissan SUV. The truck is a one-off creation by Luca Bordin a Peterbuilt fanatic. The truck is powered by a 12V car battery and features a horn which works using compressed air.

The Best Camo Evah…EVAH!

It makes you invisible…almost.

Mid Term Election Returns:Not Everyone Is Happy

Birthday Words of Wisdom

Hat-tip to Nuke’s niece …..

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

• If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

• We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

• War does not determine who is right — only who is left.

• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

• Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole darn box to start a campfire?

• Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

• A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”

• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

• The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

• Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

• I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

• Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

• There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

• You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

• A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

• If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Epic Fails! Epistaxis And Embarrassment Version

This video is so well done comically, as well as painfully funny politically, I had to share it.

Friday Open

Confucius say … If light stay on for over 4 hour, call an erectrician.

Have a great weekend y’all.

(h/t Carla)

Dog for sale

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog.

Read the sales pitch below!

Dog For Sale

Free to good home.  Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.  Most of them knew Jethro only by his Oriental street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

(hat-tip n2l)

Just Another Day At The Office….

Pregnant daughter came home and told me about her day last night over dinner. There’s a reason SwampMan will not eat dinner at the table when daughter, a vet tech with animal control, my mom, a retired R.N., and I are talking.

A pitbull bit a person and then died. Whether or not it was assisted on its way to the doggie afterlife I do not know, as I did not ask. Regardless of how it reached the great beyond, an animal control officer picked up the smelly deceased and stuck it in the freezer at animal control, for the head had to be removed and sent to the state lab to check for rabies.

Enter daughter, who had to thaw said dead doggie and decapitate same. The operating and EU rooms were in use, so the decapitation was to take place in the private (non-public access) parking lot. The deceased was defrosted and appropriately smelly. After cutting through the skin and muscle, the head is twisted and snapped off. Daughter laboriously cut through the thick muscles around the cervical spine. Daughter twisted. Head didn’t snap off. She twisted again. No snappage. She called another vet tech, a male, to help. Still no head separation. By this time, smelly bodily fluids were waaaaay beyond the rubber gloves and were running down the arms and onto the scrubs. A third male came in to help snap the neck. No luck.

Daughter was, by this time, cussing like a sailor. It was hot outside, she was miserable and pregnant, and her other tasks were backing up. Like her mom, she doesn’t have infinite patience. She threw the stinky dog body down in the parking lot, grabbed a pooper scooper shovel, and eventually successfully encouraged the head to separate from the body after stabbing it about 10 times, cussing the dog loudly the entire time. She grabbed the head and danced around the parking lot, shaking it at the other employees, ululating at the successful decapitation.

It was only then that she noticed the employees at the auto repair shop across the street staring.

Still Alive

No2liberals informs me that the above song, being all acoustic and all, is just waaaay too slow and gentle for a MAN to listen to. Hunh. Real men require POWER.

Well, here’s something a little faster. This is also daughter’s ringtone.

Zo’ Spanks Ho’ Sheryl Cro’

Most of you are familiar with our right wing brother Alphonso.

His use of the video medium to correct and lambaste liberal nuttiness for the past several years has been a constant source of pleasure for me. I always look forward to his latest video, which is what follows.

A little background, if you aren’t aware of or remember some of Sheryl Crow’s lefturd nuttiness.

First of all, she brought this recent spanking on herself with her absurd comment recently about the Tea Party movement.

“I appreciate the fact that those people are out there and that they are fired up,” responded Crow, before adding that Tea Partiers “haven’t educated themselves…they’re just pissed off.”

Secondly, she made a bizarre statement a few years ago while traveling the country with Al Gore’s mistress, Laurie David, promoting global warming hysteria. What was this disgusting statement that has provoked others into refusing to shake her hand, you ask?

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

What a Charmin’…uh…charming concept.

So with that info in mind, I present you with Zo’s latest lefturd(no pun intended) smack down.

Thought for the day

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”

Alexander Pineda

h/t Todd

The SYM:Pwning A Friend

This another Tale of the Sweaty Young Man.

The SYM wasn’t a malicious man by nature, but he was a guy that enjoyed a good practical joke, and the jocularity that men often engage in that might seem…odd to others.

This brings us to a warm humid Saturday evening at his house in Del Rosario compound. It was a large house with a large living area, a den, a formal dining room, a large kitchen, five bedrooms, and a laundry/utility room. The house was filled with rattan furniture and several Papa San and Mama San chairs. The SYM had three room mates, and they all worked together, but usually on different shifts.

On this early evening, the SYM and one of his roomies were sitting in the den watching TV and having some drinks. His roomie will be referred to as Sausalito Joe, as that is where he was from and was a real character, as though created by John Steinbeck(i.e. Tortilla Flats). As mentioned, it was warm and humid, as it was the rainy season, so the two roomies were lounging in the den in their underwear with the two oscillating fans on high speed.

During this time one of their other roomies, who seldom went out and ran the bars and streets as the rest of us did, was busy going between his bedroom and the bathroom across the hall from his first floor room. We noticed he had turned on the window a/c unit, which he had installed and was the only one in the house. We kept glancing through the living area and noticed his activities and commented on his preparations. Not long after, dressed in his freshly ironed and starched jeans, ironed western cut shirt, shined cowboy boots, all cleaned up and smelling good, our roomie known as Mac entered the den.

Mac was a good guy and a big guy, about 6’3″ and 240lbs. We always liked having him along on patrol, as he could block a door and not be moved by anyone. Mac was also not as outgoing as most of us, much more reserved by nature, but not someone you would normally fool with. Which is why he wasn’t entirely comfortable when he entered the room. Mac gave a little speech, instead of being as direct as we all typically were. He began by clearing his throat and stating that he was going out for the evening, that he had met a young lady that he wanted to take to dinner and a movie, and was hoping to bring her home later, which is why he would be leaving his a/c unit running. In a somewhat awkward way he asked if the SYM and Sausalito Joe would be up later or at home, and that if we were could we please have some clothes on. The SYM and Joe were silent and glanced at each other, and the twinkle in the SYM‘s eye tipped Joe off. Before Joe could say anything, the SYM spoke up and with a sincere tone, reassured Mac that there would be no problem with that, as the SYM would be going to bed early due to an early morning shift. Joe quickly replied that he was going out and wouldn’t be home until much later, and that if our other roomie came home, we would let him know Mac was bringing home company.

Mac let out a little sigh of relief and said goodnight, as he headed for the front door. Not long after the front door closed, Joe looked at the SYM excitedly and inquired about what they were going to do. The SYM told Joe to follow him into Mac’s room. As they stood in the door, the cool air from his a/c was almost shocking in its refreshing sensation, as they stood there in their tighty-whiteys. The SYM quickly looked at the lay out of the room, then walked over to Mac’s dresser and rummaged through a drawer and extracted the most worn out pair of undies Mac had. The SYM then explained the scheme to Joe, that Mac, being such a gentleman, would hold the bedroom door open for his young lady, she would step down into the bedroom and place her purse on the chair just inside. This is where Mac’s underwear would be hanging, on the back of the chair. Sausalito Joe nodded in agreement, the scenario seemed plausible, but didn’t understand why the underwear on the back of the chair. The SYM looked into Joe’s besotted Jim Beam eyes, and in a low deep voice asked Joe to go get the jar of extra crunchy peanut butter and a spoon. Joe’s eyes got large with the realization and was laughing as he ran to the kitchen and back.

The SYM held the underwear, which were stretched and had a few holes, while Joe applied the peanut butter to the crotch. When the SYM determined that the portion and weight of the peanut butter seemed appropriate for a large man’s…leavings, the SYM then hung the underwear on the back of the chair in such a way so that the illusion would be obvious. As they left Mac’s room, Joe was laughing excitedly and asked the SYM if he was going to wait up. The SYM said no, he was heading to bed in a few hours, at which time Joe said he wasn’t going anywhere, and that he would be hiding in the utility room when Mac got home to see what happened.

After some more jocularity and TV watching the SYM went to bed, with Sausalito Joe working on his second quart of Jim Beam, as was his custom.

Early the next morning, at 00:dark:30hrs., the SYM answered the alarm and climbed out of bed. As he exited his bedroom for the bathroom, the door felt heavy as it opened and a loud *thunk* was felt and heard on the outside of the door. Puzzled, he looked on the outside of the door, and hanging on the door knob was a pair of old underwear, stretching under the weight of a copious amount of extra crunchy peanut butter.

Later that day, Sausalito Joe saw the SYM for the first time since the evening before and couldn’t wait to tell the SYM what had transpired. Joe explained in detail, that Mac had held the door open for his date with a grand “tah-dah” gesture, as she stepped down into his frigid chamber. At the moment she put her purse on the chair she noticed the sagging underwear and its dark contents and jumped back with an expression of shock. Not knowing that anything was amiss, Mac looked at the chair and saw the soiled garment. He tried to reassure her it wasn’t what she thought, that someone was playing a joke and he picked up the offending item and sniffed them. The young lady recoiled even further in disgust when he did this and he was finally able to convince her it was peanut butter. Joe was well pleased at how the prank had played out, and the SYM basked in the glow of a successful ambush joke.

As for Mac and his date, they married many months later, and last I heard they were still married thirty five years later. Mac has been an assistant warden at a very famous state penitentiary for quite a few years.

As for Sausalito Joe, only the Good Lord knows where he is and what became of him. As good a man as he was, he seemed to be troubled somehow, as his heavy drinking would indicate.

As for the pwnage of Mac, he never really said anything about it, and didn’t seem to hold a grudge, but his new girlfriend certainly seemed to.

Those Krazy Kos Kidz, All Wee-Weed Up!

This is too funny to just post in the links.

From HillBuzz:

“Not fair! Not fair! Not fair!”, they all shout, like small children upset things they did to siblings (with great glee) are now being done to them when the shoe is on the other foot.

It’s hilarious to watch.

As is his description of the dkos nutjobs flinging things in their parent’s basement.
You have got to read this one.

Obama At The Bat

A wonderful take-off from Casey At The Bat, by PJTV.

Last Word on SB XLIV


h/t sixpack

Oscar’s thoughts

Christmas Is A Time For Joyous Voices!

Even for Monks who have taken a vow of silence.

Dear Grim Reaper

So far this year, you have taken away:

1) My favorite musician, Michael Jackson;

2) My favorite actor, Patrick Swayze;

3) My most beautiful actress, Farrah Fawcett;

4) My original “Guitar Hero,” Les Paul.

Just so you know, my favorite politician is Barack Obama.

(borrowed from Bill Vaughn @ facebook)

The “Get-out-of-housework-free” Card

Sometimes, the best answers are the simplest.

And, sometimes, the simplest answers are the best.

When they come together, it’s like … synchronicity!

From the Mail (h/t bonz)

A study has found that household chores – including using a vacuum cleaner or microwave oven – could reduce a man’s chances of having children.

Researchers exposed male volunteers to electromagnetic fields – high doses of which are produced by all electrically charged objects, including refrigerators and vacuum cleaners – and found such exposure could double the risk of having poor-quality sperm.

Great idea, especially for you younger whipper-snappers.

But, I gotta say, the idea of raising a family, again, leaves me exhausted just thinking about it.
Think I’ll have a nap.

Øbama Confronted By Conservative Kitteh!

Kitteh For President!


Sercan Ondem

The Light

Inspire, Encourage and Empower


All about career, personal development, productivity & leadership


Sercan Ondem

The Reset Blog

Start over, just don't stop


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Taffy Toffy's Blog



About life, the universe and everything

Drowning in depression.

Is'nt it great being a human!

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Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier sur blookup.com

Jan Smitowicz's Author Blog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"ONE HELL OF A WRITER"--Derrick Jensen, award-winning author of Endgame~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spotlight Entertainment Blog by POMMG

Making footprints in the sand that become a path to your door via social media.

Anshita Singh

Freud's god damn mother💫

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