Gravity 1, Andre No-Johnson 0

Rapper Andre Johnson would have been the sure-fire winner of the 2014 Darwin Award except for one minor detail–he survived.

 

andre (no) johnsonAfter cutting off his manhood, Johnson leaped from the second floor of a West Hollywood apartment building and landed on the sidewalk below.  Other members of his rap group, Northstar, said that by the time they got downstairs, Johnson, sans-johnson, was up and running around screaming and hollering.

 

Oddly enough, they also claimed that no drugs were involved.

 

Johnson (nick-name “Christ Bearer) is in critical condition at Cedars-Sinai.  Efforts to sew his penis back on were not successful.

 

source: Fox

 

Note to self:  If I ever decide to cut my d*ck off and attempt suicide by jumping off a building, make sure that I get much higher than the second floor.

 

Note to first responders:  If you ever find me on a sidewalk with my d*ck cut off after I’ve tried to defy gravity from an upper floor, please just go ahead and shoot me.

 

 

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