A Conservative’s Response to Michael Moore’s “Pledge”

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Happy Thanksgiving. Our home is the center of an extended family gathering, full of the love of family and friends, things which give our lives pleasure and meaning. We have much to be thankful for, indeed.

And even though Michael Moore is of the opinion that our country is now in the hands of the Left, we take great comfort in knowing that the fate of our nation is in the hands of a much higher Power.

Last week, Mr. Moore extended an olive branch to the political Right which had all of the sincerity of a John Kerry apology. At first, I treated his missive with the same response that I usually give Mr. Moore’s work – I ignored it. But as different organs of Big Media gave greater exposure to his words, I changed my mind, and decided to respond as well as to reach out to others in the blogosphere. Their contributions are acknowledged in the last paragraph of this post. Mr. Moore’s sense of humor usually involves the ridicule of his target which is portrayed as high-minded social satire. Frankly, I think he is just plain mean. In this post-election victory dance, Moore reveals in addition, a stunning lack of understanding of many of the things that we on the Right take for granted as common knowledge.

Thus, here is “A Conservative’s Response to A Liberal’s Pledge To Disheartened Conservatives.”

1) We will always respect you. We will never, ever equate respect for a person with respect for another’s actions or ideas. When your actions are unpatriotic, we pledge to continue to bring it to your attention. When your words border on rhetorical arson, we pledge to continue to extinguish the fires which offer aid and comfort to our enemies.

2) We pledge to continue to marry whomever we want. We weren’t aware that we needed your either your permission or your blessing.

3) The Federal checkbook is balanced by either increasing revenues to the Treasury, or by decreasing outlays. Revenues have been increased to unprecedented levels because of tax-cuts and other incentives built in to the Tax Code. What reductions do you pledge to support in order to bring the equation into balance? And, just a reminder, cutting Defense expenditures won’t help you reach the stated concern for the fiscal security of future generations of Americans. Without National security, fiscal security for future generations is moot.

4) Our men and women who serve in the Armed Forces will continue to follow the orders given by the chain of command. And, until the Commander In Chief decides differently, your ‘cut and run’ pledge is just wishful thinking on your part. By the way, Lt. Kerry voted for (at least once) military action, and I’m quite certain that he was in the military (of course, until we see his 180, we can’t draw any conclusions). Are you saying that he did NOT serve? Have you seen his 180?

5) We welcome an honest debate on paying for the general health and welfare of our nation’s citizens. All options are on the table. Deal?

6) Since you have all the answers regarding global warming, how do you propose to end the causes which are natural and not man-made? Mother Nature isn’t too concerned about your legal team, and cycles of climate change aren’t affected by demagoguery. BTW, your side doesn’t want clean air and clean water any more than our side does. Where we disagree is on the means of achieving these goals. And, while we’re at it, can we at least consider the fact that allowing our forests to go unmanaged and unchecked by under-growth simply adds to the risk of serious wildfires? A uniform dense forest is a poor habitat for wildlife. (hint: Google-“Monarch Butterfly”).

7) We find it interesting that you still don’t consider OBL to be a terrorist. I remember your statements just after 9/11/01 that “There is no terrorist threat.” I take your pledge, “We will protect you,” with a great skepticism, developed after years of watching your actions rather than listening to your words.

8) We pledge to not to stick our noses, or anything else, into your bedrooms. But, it’s just not serious for you to put abortion into the same category with sexual preferences, unless your purpose is simply to obfuscate the issue.

9) We agree that you will never take away our guns. Now, enough with your silly gun phobias. Different firearms are for different purposes. We don’t need a 30-06 to do the job of a .22 rat shot round, and vice-versa, and there are times when we would definitely prefer a .357 or a .45 over a 9 mm. A 12 gauge and a .410 are also used for different purposes. We would no more dream of using the wrong firearm than we would try to chop down a tree with a spoon. You’ve already told us of your secret admiration of our tree-chopping abilities, so just expand your reasoning to understand that the correct choice of tools goes a long way toward successful completion of any mission. Plus, since infringement against our right to bear arms is unconstitutional, we are comfortable in knowing that this right has a greater degree of legal weight than certain judicially derived prenumberances.

10) When the minimum wage is raised, and it will be, can we acknowledge that it is being done to keep pace with inflation rather than to fulfill your noble political cause to improve the financial lot of women, and the working poor? Since we own most of the small businesses which will bear the brunt of your perceived largesse, please understand that wage and income are merely indications of a person’s value to an employer. It also has to do with negotiating skills, personal assertiveness, and an individual’s marketable skills.

11) We certainly pledge to continue to acknowledge the blessings of liberty, and the grace and blessings from The Almighty, although we understand that the definition of “blessing” has changed as our relationship with The Almighty has deepened. Some of the greatest blessings in our lives have presented themselves as problems, challenges, and crises. We’ve learned that we must not quit or retreat when confronted, lest we miss the blessings which inevitably follow to those who overcome.

12) We pledge to support you in your efforts to remove corrupt politicians from office, and we encourage your side to follow the example of Republicans who have been confronted with their mis-deeds: Resign. We would be happy to provide you with a short-list to prove your good intent, but the fact is, you know who they are. Let us see if your actions support your words.

I realize the presumptuousness of “speaking for” the political Right, and I would be remiss if I didn’t admit as such. But, whatever the future holds for our great Nation, we do understand the fragile nature of our liberty, the need to defend it, and the willingness to be governed by the consent of the voters. We may not wish you luck, but we do wish you well.

As far as the Frappuccino, thanks for the invitation, I’m looking forward to it. Perhaps we can get together here in Flyover Country, and you’ll see that we really aren’t the monsters that you fear us to be.

Special thanks to Mick, SwampWoman, no2liberals, Sarah D., GCP, Ann, and Engineer (who bravely supplied Sarah D. with the beer)

Blogburst to:Mick, GCP, RT, RW, Angel, HangRight, Hatless, Nemesis, Morning Coffee, Noblesse Oblige, Doug Ross, Maxine, Coz, Pierre, John Carey, Smith, Right Truth, Mark, MS politics, Outside the Beltway, HotAir, Jay,Gateway Pundit, BS&S, CQ, Anchoress, Wizbang , TWC,

And at the Cove, Nuke responds to the DNC Surrender Monkey