Why Won’t My Keyboard Button Thingamajig Work?

SwampMan was complaining loudly to himself. “This button USED to work, but NOOOOOOO. It doesn’t work now. It hasn’t worked for a long time through different computers, and I’d like to know why the hell not!” STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB at the button because physical abuse always makes electronic things work.

“Did you look it up online?” I asked, rudely interrupting his soliloquy cuss session.

“No. What good would that do? It has been a long time since that thing worked.”

“So I heard. Is it your new keyboard?”

“No, damnit. The button hasn’t worked for YEARS. This is a new keyboard.”

“So, what version of Windows you got?”

“Windows XP.”

Ah, yes. He’d ordered a refurbished computer for his shop because he wanted to keep XP; his house computer also has XP. It makes moving things back and forth easier. I’d been typing into the search engine while we were speaking and had the answer in about ten seconds. “Well, there’s your problem right here. That button doesn’t work directly with XP.”

SwampMan muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “bullshit”.

“Humor me. Hit the button, then press start, then all programs, then accessories….”

He stabbed the keys with unnecessary vigor following my directions, then there was a muttered “Well I’ll be a (very rude and offensive expletive)!”

Ah, apparently we were successful in our endeavor.

“Isn’t it interesting”, I continued, “what we find out if we actually look it up?”

More muttered rude words. Not to worry, though. Tomorrow he’ll probably be saying something like “Isn’t it INTERESTING how much money we can save if we do not hit things with a hammer when they malfunction?” to me, unless he recalls in time that his knees have been malfunctioning for years.

Ah, well. He may still be a little aggravated at me from earlier today. He was worrying aloud about the CNC not working with the new (refurbished) computer, mentioned how he had checked settings several times, and was just about to start checking all his connections to make sure he had power to all of them.

“Oh!” I remarked helpfully, although he had not asked for any. “Did you check to see if you have enough RAM?”

He actually rolled his eyes at me. “What, do you think I’m stupid? Of COURSE!”

“Did you reconnect everything to see if it worked with the old computer again after you got everything disconnected and reconnected to the new computer and it didn’t work?” I’m definitely not a repairman, and I am lazy, so I like to make sure that what I’m putting forth a lot of effort and brainwork into is actually the problem.

He blinked. “Well, no….”

“It’s just me, but I’d like to make sure that the computer or a cable isn’t the problem first before I go tearing things down.” SwampMan likes to tear things down. Well, so do I, but all that is left are teensy little molecule-sized pieces when I do it. He actually takes things apart and puts them back together in working condition, and I just gaze at him adoringly because he’s my hero.

“I never even thought of THAT because everything is supposed to be new. Good idea!”

It turned out that it was a dead parallel port in the refurbished computer. SwampMan throws NOTHING away because he may need it someday. He’s got eight or so old computers sitting around to strip parts out of. He’s very happy that he gets to tear down things after all.

My New Theme Song

Heh. But I confess I don’t practice trumpet at ALL.

Debt Bomb

Fair warning–striptease and bouncing tatas may not be considered by some to be family friendly. DEFINITELY NSFW. Nice explanation of the problems facing us but I’m not sure if the male viewers will be listening to the lyrics.

Does economics need something a bit more extreme, like maybe pole dancers, for people to get the idea that you can’t run a deficit forever?

And a shout out to Karl Denninger at Market Ticker who has been busily scouring the internet for visual examples of the economic problems besetting this nation and, indeed, the world. I may not always agree with his solutions, but I have to admire his work ethic.

Happy President’s Day!

Since Nuke and no2liberals have both somehow unaccountably forgotten to post a musical tribute on President’s Day for Obama, I will hurl myself into the breech, as it were.

/Yes, bad things DO happen when people give their keys to just anybody. Or the presidency…

Remy’s Occupy Wall Street Protest Song

I LOVE this guy!

Friday Night Waila!

We lived in Arizona some years back. Our address was Casa Grande but we lived just outside the Akimel O’Odham rez and, in fact, spent a lot of time ON the rez in my job.

On Friday and Saturday nights, our neighbors would have Waila dances under the shade arbor at night going into the wee hours of the morning. It was nice after a long week at work to go out in the shade of the patio, relax in a lawn chair with a cold drink, and watch the incredible Arizona sunset and then listen to the Waila music starting next door. Good times! No skeeters!

This was filmed around where we lived.

I was feeling a longing for Arizona tonight and started listening to the music of the southern desert on YouTube. Thought maybe most people that haven’t lived in Arizona have never heard it.

More Theater From Washington, Plus Nancy’s Communing With Space Aliens Again

I tuned in to TV today (I know, I know) to see Obama’s press secretary, Carney, blame the lack of a budget on the congressional Republicans. Again. His sideshow-evocative name seems pretty apt for an Obama press secretary. “What is Obama’s plan exactly again?” “He has details. And stuff. LOOK! OVER THERE! The Republicans are killing unicorns! Where will our Skittles come from? OHMYGAWD it’s BUSH! He’s killing Santa Claus!”

Yet the Fed is reportedly NOT preparing for a default and government offices are not preparing for a shut down. You would think, if the President is going to continue to veto and stonewall, that government offices would be on notice. Go figure. You would think that I would be getting a letter from the school district saying something like “since your job is dependent on a federal grant, we’ve been notified that the grant may not be paid and so we may have to fire your ass and don’t come to work until further notice” (perhaps in more diplomatic language) but noooooo. Which additionally shows me that maybe this is all staged for the cameras. Is anybody stockpiling cash for potential bank runs? Maybe I’ll just go get in front of a possible bank run and take out my entire fortune of about $38.52 TODAY. Take THAT, Treasury Department. I may use it to stimulate the feed store economy. Or buy some McNuggets with Sweet Chili sauce from McDonald’s.

Carney says that there was a lot of detail on things passed back and forth between Reid and Obama. (Wow. I am so impressed. Maybe they even used the RE: line, as in RE: Totally F***ing the Economy.) And Boehner walked away from the negotiations TWICE. (Gosh darn. Guess he forgot to add the little detail that Obama decided to unilaterally change the bill which doesn’t sound very compromising to ME. And we want to know whether Boehner was walking funny afterwards.) Obama is planning on doing something big and HISTORIC for the spending bill. (You mean the man who only started getting involved @ 2 weeks ago? Oh, the bullshit is getting too deep for me!) And the Republicans must compromise. (But not the Democrats.) Being the Obama press secretary is definitely one of those shovel-ready jobs. Oh, gosh, and Obama is determined that our economy is not to be damaged further. (Dang. I think I snorted up some meatloaf over that. Gotta turn the TV off. Snorting meatloaf is not an approved ingestion method. And it’s probably a felony due to the sodium content.)

Oh, crap. Didn’t get the TV turned off in time. They (news anchors) reported that Pelosi is wearing her WonderWoman Underoos again:

Urgent: Pelosi on today’s vote: “What we’re trying to do is save the world from the Republican budget….we’re trying to save life on this planet as we know it today.”

I shit you not, she actually said that. How stupid are the people that continue to elect her? Does she have a morons only district? To move into Nancy’s congressional district, do they make people take IQ tests and if they’re positive, they get refused permission to enter? Is it a gated congressional district? This is the woman who has hundreds of millions of dollars yet used the Air Force as her private taxi for her and her progeny and their progeny! The woman owns vineyards, yet drank over $100,000 worth of of liquor that the taxpayers had to spring for. Eeesh. Typical Dem. Wants to raise taxes on the “rich” small business proprietors that gross $250,000 per year but I guarantee that her fortune is well protected. I figure she owes ALL of us money. When somebody sacks her palatial estates, please send me my share. And don’t think you can cheap out and send me some shoes. No, no. But I digress….

I’m also wondering how much of all this posturing and pontification in front of the cameras is to make sure that the cameras are NOT pointing at the witnesses testifying in the gunrunner scandal. Would tbe Dems potentially send the country into a deep depression in order to avoid the public scrutinizing their HUGE illegal program in which they were purposely arming Mexican drug cartels while simultaneously screaming about how “we” must control our arms in a blatant attempt to disarm the American citizens because guns are (wait for it) crossing our borders and getting to Mexican drug gangs?

WAKE UP CALL!

Dang, there’s been a lot of things happening in the past few days, but N2l and Nuke have been kinda quiet which is uncharacteristic for them. Maybe they’re on vacation. Maybe they’re out converting dollars into trade goods* for the natives and ammo while there is still time. Maybe they’re in an underground SHTF bunker somewhere that I ain’t been invited to. Hmmmmmmm. But maybe they’re just napping. Maybe I need to make enough noise and kick a few things around. You reckon this might wake ’em up?

*Trade goods for the natives here would consist of chewing tobacco, beer, and cigarettes. And pharmaceuticals frowned upon by the U.S. Government.

Tea Party Warning to the Republican Leadership

Your Tax Dollars at Work: James O’Keefe Strikes Again!

Makes me wonder if all the people on Medicaid are criminals that shouldn’t be eligible.

Grouchy Conservative Pundits Down Again?

Couldn’t access starting about 2:30 p.m. EST 01/15/11. Your experience may vary.

Happy Friday

Grouchy Conservative Pundits is (Temporarily) Down

update:

rayra

show details 2:31 PM (18 minutes ago)

There appears to have been another cracking of our host, there were some malware directories added both to our shared server IP and also within our own GCP directory structure.  Your super-elite-delta-force-recon admins are now endeavoring to persevere.  We’re making backups and looking through our directory contents trying to make sure there’s nothing malicious remaining, before throwing the doors open for business as usual.

Please stand by.

Do not despair, GCPers. Mike C and Rayra are busily working to find a solution. In the meantime, please feel free to check in at Bob’s Bites, Nuke’s, A1A South, Conservative Talk, Blogmocracy, or any of the blogs run by people that also comment at GCP (check the links on the side.)

Happy New Year!

Before I venture out into the new year with buckets of feed, I want to wish each and every reader and Nuke, no2liberals, and Robert D Happy New Year, with the wish that all y’all have a happy, healthy, and rewarding year to come.

Now, on to those New Year’s resolutions. Hmmmm. Let me see, what should be first on my list? It should probably be achievable, which probably means I should cross out doing the P90X workout every single day until I have a slim, trim, toned hourglass figure. Riiiiiight. I have time fitting in a shower on some days. Plus I don’t actually HAVE the P90X workout on account of I don’t spend money on me, and SwampMan wisely refrained from giving me anything that would give the barest hint that maybe I am not absolutely perfect just the way I am. Okay. Maybe my resolution will be to achieve a beer keg figure this year. I think I can do it!

I would like to resolve that I will no longer be savagely bitten at work (ruefully rubbing left forearm where the underlying flesh is still crushed and painful after two weeks), but……that ain’t gonna happen unless I don’t go to work anymore. Hmmmmm. Sounds like a resolution to me! *sigh* SwampMan says NO, I cannot have a I’m Not Going To Work Ever Again resolution. Okay, fine. I resolve that I’m going to change careers this year. (Checking with SwampMan….SwampMan says a career change is a good goal.) Is beach bum a career?

Well, my resolution list is almost complete. I’m going to be a keg-shaped beach bum. I could probably collect money from beach businesses to NOT wear skimpy bathing suits at the beach and scare the tourists away and/or make them swear off food and drink. Sounds like a new business opportunity! I could wear signs saying “I got this body from exercising at __________ and eating at ______________” until they pay me to take their name off. Could be REALLY lucrative.

Here’s hoping that all your dreams are achievable, too!

Ooooooh, People Are Being MEAN to Obama!

Republicans are being all mean to poor Obama (sniff sniff). They are treating him like a dog! Poor baby.

Here’s your song:

Man up, you damn whiny sissy.

Don’t misunderstand. I ain’t laughin’ with you, I’m laughin’ at you.

Saturday Night Jerry

Twice Deported Illegal From El Salvador Robs and Murders 14-Year-Old Houston Girl

Read all about it in the Houston media. It isn’t like anybody besides bloggers will cover it nationally. Y’all really think that the MSM is going to cover this one? Nah. They’re too busy covering the government reluctantly approving the money for adding 1,000 more border agents.

Think about how you would feel if you found out this POS had been deported TWICE for DUI, then successfully came back through the (intentionally) porous border to rob your child and shoot her in the back, killing her as she attempted to run.

Let me go through that again: He broke our laws twice previously when crossing the border. He was arrested twice for DUI, breaking our laws again. His punishment was a plane ticket back to El Salvador. Yeah, THAT really showed him. How many other robberies/murders did he commit successfully? I doubt very much that this was his first.

In the meantime, our Washington officials do less than nothing. Oh, wait…..they ARE preventing Arizona from collecting and deporting illegal lawbreakers by pandering to illegal aliens, hoping for an expanded and ignorant voter base. And they’re making much of $600 million for 1,000 more border agents. Big whoop. The extra 1,000 wouldn’t cover the Arizona border even IF they were allowed to actually do their jobs, which is pretty doubtful in this administration.

Who is responsible for this child’s death? Well, the illegal will get the death penalty for it, but his willing accomplices are in Washington, D.C. They should be held accountable.

You need to pass the Houston account of this child’s murder on so that her death isn’t also successfully swept under the rug.

H/T Ed at GCP who knows about this outrage because he lives there.

Of course, that evil POS piece of work Janet Napolitano is busily blaming the Republicans for immigration problems. Her thought process is nonexistent interesting.

Wednesday Dance Video

Grin. You know if n2l posts a dance video, I just gotta post one too.

(Almost) TV-Free Day

Meemaw had it up past her eyeballs, which are pretty far above ground, with little boys watching TV inside during the day. Little boys need to be outside running and playing! Meemaw turned the TV off. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is the cruelest of them all? Meemaw!” Or so you’d think. Picking up lots and lots of toys and blocks and falling over cars while I’m trying to vacuum gives Meemaw a bad attitude. I blame the housework!

At bedtime, little Dylan, who is such an engaging little scamp, asked very nicely if they could have a movie while they fell asleep. “Twansformers, Meemaw? It doesn’t hab any bad words.”

“Yes it DOES!” corrected Jacob.

“I don’t think I want to have little boys watching a movie that has BAD WORDS in it!”

“It doesn’t hab bad words, Jacob. I want to watch the movie!”

“It really does have bad words, Meemaw.”

SwampMan was chuckling in his chair. “Which bad words does it have, Jacob?”

“Papa, I’m not allowed to say those words!”

“I wiw tew you, Meemaw”, said Dylan, twinkling at me. Yes, I’m sure he would.

“Pwease, Meemaw? It doesn’t hab any bwood wike the Ombie movie.”

“ZOMBIES? You watched a Zombie movie? Zombies are waaaaay too scary for me. Meemaw doesn’t want to see ANY movies with blood.”

“It had wots of bwood and bad words. It scare me.”

“Well, we are NOT watching a zombie movie.”

“Okay, Meemaw. Twansformers doesn’t have any bwood in it and it’s not scawy.”

So the boys and the Foster Dog (named Sally by Jacob) are watching Transformers in the living room. Meemaw got outmaneuvered by a 3-year-old. Again.

Just Another Day At The Office….

Pregnant daughter came home and told me about her day last night over dinner. There’s a reason SwampMan will not eat dinner at the table when daughter, a vet tech with animal control, my mom, a retired R.N., and I are talking.

A pitbull bit a person and then died. Whether or not it was assisted on its way to the doggie afterlife I do not know, as I did not ask. Regardless of how it reached the great beyond, an animal control officer picked up the smelly deceased and stuck it in the freezer at animal control, for the head had to be removed and sent to the state lab to check for rabies.

Enter daughter, who had to thaw said dead doggie and decapitate same. The operating and EU rooms were in use, so the decapitation was to take place in the private (non-public access) parking lot. The deceased was defrosted and appropriately smelly. After cutting through the skin and muscle, the head is twisted and snapped off. Daughter laboriously cut through the thick muscles around the cervical spine. Daughter twisted. Head didn’t snap off. She twisted again. No snappage. She called another vet tech, a male, to help. Still no head separation. By this time, smelly bodily fluids were waaaaay beyond the rubber gloves and were running down the arms and onto the scrubs. A third male came in to help snap the neck. No luck.

Daughter was, by this time, cussing like a sailor. It was hot outside, she was miserable and pregnant, and her other tasks were backing up. Like her mom, she doesn’t have infinite patience. She threw the stinky dog body down in the parking lot, grabbed a pooper scooper shovel, and eventually successfully encouraged the head to separate from the body after stabbing it about 10 times, cussing the dog loudly the entire time. She grabbed the head and danced around the parking lot, shaking it at the other employees, ululating at the successful decapitation.

It was only then that she noticed the employees at the auto repair shop across the street staring.

So, We Took the Grandsons to Red Lobster

SwampMan decided, since he was going into surgery Monday and would not be visiting restaurants for awhile, that he wanted to go to Red Lobster. Besides, he had been laboring mightily over my van (still not in actual operating condition) in 102-degree record heat, and he needed a reward. It was 3:00. We absolutely positively had to get the kids no later than 5:00 so Daddy could meet his unit to go off for two weeks with the National Guard. Mommy was at work on the other side of town, so Daddy absolutely relied on us. We were on the road, but still were 30 minutes away from Red Lobster. We were 45 minutes away from grandchildren.

SwampMan had asked me, before we left, where I wanted to eat. “Anywhere you want!” Okay, so I figured somewhere quick where we could drive through and get our food (grin) on the way to get the kids. “NO! I want to eat somewhere YOU want where we actually get to SIT DOWN and have people wait on us!”

“Okay, fine. How about Sonny’s BBQ?” They’re fast, good, and relatively inexpensive.

“I thought you liked Longhorn. You wanna go to Longhorn Steakhouse?”

“Uh, sure. I’ll go, if you think we have time.”

“Well, I don’t want to go there. I want the garlic crab and shrimp pasta at Red Lobster.”

It is a good thing that mentally banging a head on the wall doesn’t leave marks!

I pointed out to SwampMan that unless we could get in, order, eat our food, and get out of Red Lobster in 30 minutes (HA!), we were going to be really pushing the time on picking up the grandkids. “But I WANT Red Lobster!” “Well, we’ll just take the kids with us!” says I, ever the optimist. SwampMan was somewhat more sceptical but his Red Lobster craving was not to be denied. He agreed, reluctantly, to pick up the kids first, expressing his hope out loud to God that he wasn’t screwing up.

MeeMaw told the grandkids that we were going to go to a restaurant where they got to go inside and sit down and people ask them what they want to eat. Papa asked them if they remembered going to a restaurant where somebody asked them what they want. “SURE!” said Jacob. “McDonald’s!” Heh. Papa explained that this was a seafood restaurant. “Do you know what that is?” “Do they have shrimp?” asked Jacob. “YES!” “Good, cuz I looooove shrimp!” Dylan said that he did not like shrimp. Papa said that they also have fish. Dylan said that he didn’t like fish, either, with a challenging stare at Papa which, since Papa was driving, he fortunately did not see. Dylan had not had his nap so he was a leeeetle bit grumpy. He soon fell asleep.

When we arrived, I woke him and gave him an abbreviated set of MeeMaw’s Rules, which consisted of sitting quietly with feet under table, bottom in chair, and no loud talking.

When we got inside and were looking over the menu, I found that I had left a few things off of MeeMaw’s Rules. Things like no enumerating every place where he had ever pooped in the potty at in his loud, carrying voice. Things like no burping loudly at the table. The Rules were quickly amended on the spot. “I have to PEEPEE in the potty!”

The very nice and pretty young lady that waited our table brought crayons. Dylan decided to draw poop since MeeMaw wouldn’t let him discuss it. I made Jacob’s shrimp order (with fries!) for him. He asked if he could have chocolate milk. The young lady assured him she would mix some up personally for him. Dylan said he wanted chocolate milk, too, and wice. “Do you want chicken with your rice?” I asked. “No. Just wice.” “How about fish?” “NO! Just wice!” The sweet and pretty waitress asked him if he wanted macaroni with his rice. “Yes! And I HAVE TO POOPOO IN THE POTTY!” Jacob accompanied us. SwampMan and I got our salads. I ate a few bites of salad. Jacob colored quietly. Dylan announced “I don’t wike sawad!” Our appetizer came. Jacob colored quietly. Dylan smelled it. “I don’t wike it! Where’s my wice?” “They’re cooking your wi–uh, rice.” “It takes a long time to cook wice?” “Yes, yes it does.” Dylan told me that he liked wice. And noodles. And cheeseburgers. And boogers. Another rule: No eating boogers. I hurriedly snarfed down a couple pieces of my appetizer. “I have to PEEPEE IN THE POTTY!” We went potty again. When we came back, SwampMan had eaten my appetizer. I told him next time, he goes on the potty run. He declined. He said if I had wanted my appetizer, I should have put it all on my plate. I pointed out that I didn’t have a chance! He said that was no excuse. The cheese biscuits were delivered. Jacob didn’t want one. I gave one to Dylan. He smelled it. He licked it. I firmly told him we do not lick biscuits, we eat them, and tore off a piece. He liked it! He then told me he needed a knife to cut it. I told him there was no way that MeeMaw was going to allow him to have a knife. Ever. “I can cut it with my hands?” “Yes!” “Okay.”

Our food came. Jacob pronounced his fries and popcorn delicious. Dylan looked at his food. “I don’t wike macawoni!” he declared. What a surprise! He looked suspiciously at his wild rice pilaf. “Somebody put SAWAD in my WICE!” There were teensy chopped carrot pieces in there. And a little greenery sprinkled over the top. *sigh* “Just pick out the salad and eat your rice!” He did. He ate half the rice and half a cheese biscuit. “Meemaw, I finished!” Meemaw was shoveling in food at a frantic pace while Papa had a leisurely lunch/dinner. “Well, you will need to sit quietly while Meemaw finishes!” I have to PEEPEE IN THE POTTY, MEEMAW! “We will go peepee when Meemaw eats her food.” Papa was over on the other side of the table murmuring “never again!” to himself. I told the boys how well behaved they were and how proud I was of them. THEY didn’t eat my appetizer while I was taking the boys to the bathroom. The very nice lady bagged up our leftovers while I was escorting boys to the bathroom again.

It only took us an hour and a half in Red Lobster. It just felt like an eternity!

Duval County, Florida, Deports Illegals From Around the World

Illegal Immigrants Deported from Duval County between 10/28/08 and 7/14/10.

Click to enlarge.

I’d like to point out that Duval County, Florida, has been quietly deporting people that have criminal offenses for two years. So, is enforcement of immigration laws racist? Well, look at the picture. While Mexico had the single largest number of illegals sent back to Mexico, they are from all OVER the globe. Yep, Sheriff John has deported people to Asia, Europe, Africa, the Caribbean, Central and South America, and Canada!

This worldwide deportation has occurred from just ONE COUNTY in Florida and this is just the people that were caught for minor (and major) criminal offenses. Think about the magnitude of the problem that is currently being ignored by the Federal Government!

Sunday Morning Gospel

Okay, Johnny Cash ain’t exactly gospel, but I like it, and it’s MY POST. So there.

Be sure to post your favorites unless you’re a Godless heathen.

Friday Night Classical Music Thread

I Write Like Who? Say What?

Omnivoracious has a link to “I Write Like“, which is a text analyzer site where you cut and paste in your own text, and the site tells you which famous author your writing resembles.

Hunh. I decided to take it out for a whirl. The first bit of text that I cut and pasted told me that I wrote like Kurt Vonnegut. The second bit of text that I cut and pasted told me that I wrote like Dan Brown. The third and fourth bits of text that I cut and pasted told me that I wrote like other male authors.

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I suppose that I don’t use enough flowery adjectives to rate as a female. Should I get a DNA test? I thought giving birth was pretty powerful proof of being a genetic female, but could I be wrong?

So take the text test and find your writing style (and gender). If any of y’all get Elizabeth Peters or Janet Evanovich, I’m going to be pissed.